Steaaaaakkkkkkkkkk!!!! Meat and Wine Co have just opened up their new place in South Yarra which means the 500g wagyu with onion rings is even more convenient for my girlie to sink her teeth into.

What do the top athletes eat to get their body back to its best after a hard workout? The best kept secret in the business - smashed avocado. Filled with probably at least 5 of the 20,000 electrolytes you need every second of the day, the humble avocado contributes a ‘significant’ amount to your daily intake. Include some feta and some chilli, and that amount increases....well, one would imagine it would. What’s more avocado has been physically proven to increase the size of a man’s appendage, in most women double the size of their breasts and, if stuffed into the wrong place, you too can attract the attention of the opposite sex, possibly with some concern over the sheer magnitude of your haemorrhoids, but no publicity is bad publicity, as they say! So there you go, the humble avocado bought to you by those lovely fellas and ladies at Slowpoke. Winner!

This is one of our favourite places in Melbourne: the genial atmosphere, the amazing and tireless host Mr Rahimi, and of course so much food you struggle to get into the car home without loosening the belt. This is the best Afghan food you'll get in Australia, with many of my Afghan and Middle Eastern friends flocking here too, along with a tonne of us whities smashing down the most tender lamb skewers youre ever likely to witness. I'm so full I can barely move! go for banquet number 1 and prepare to inhale....FOOD!

First stop was to suss out what the hell a Bodega was...yes, that's right, I had no idea. What a idjut! So, with my knuckles firmly dragging on the ground I consulted the amazing dictionary.com and found it was a grocery store. Or a wines hop. Or a warehouse for storing aged wine. Which makes sense has Lamaro seems to have quite the cellar (and probably grocery store and wines hop). The place itself is lake an old hotel which has been spruced up for its fancy South Melbourne clientele. They've got a lovely big fire, decent ambiance, and a general well to do feel. The food is brilliant, the most expensive steak on the menu a whopping $180 for an equally baffling 900gm steak. I simply cant eat that much cow! Instead we went for:
- Mackeral, horseradish cream, cape shank vegetables
- Wood fired octopus, potato, broad beans and squid ink (is that squid pee?)
- 350g o'connor flank steak pasture fed cow
- sweet potato ice cream sandwich, dulce de leche...kind of like salted caramel...but the ice cream was surprisingly brilliant! Look like mini hot dogs!

From South Melbourne Market I give you a fancy egg and bacon roll. Simplicity. The bacon is smokey and thick cut which means you're not chomping into some cheap stuff you can get from Aldi - which I have at home in fridge, am not knocking Aldi!

Tea & Champagne on a Friday off from work. Good day indeed! We smashed into a breakfast bun after that with some trepidation as egg whites, the enemy, were ensconced within...its just the texture, yuck! But all was well, egg cooked over-easy and chucked into a brioche with sausage and cheese. Winner! The much vaunted lobster role was disappointing - spend all that money on lobster then cock it up by putting chives and other rubbish all over it so you can barely taste anything. Still, tea was all right!

The keen observer will notice the lack of night. This is called 'day'. Far less people and you have the added bonus of being able to see what you're eating - huzzaahh! You'd be lucky to get change for a $10 for most of the asian delights on offer, which didn't stop my girlfriend trying to wrestle the piggies into some bread - delicious skewers by hoy panoy!