Drink The Bleach!

When they shine the light inside, I hope it’s using a bulb from a lighthouse. He’ll be lit up like a nuclear glowworm for a decade. As we’ve seemingly exclaimed a hundred times this year, what a week! There is no leadership race in the world like a US Presidential one. I have this awful feeling that the fat bastard is going to make a full recovery, sashaying out of the hospital, trumping that having COVID is no worse than watching X-Factor or The Block. So, still fairly horrific. Nothing more than a little brain scarring. How would we tell?

The upshot will be an election romp, claiming he was right all along. The flu, he’ll fart, was exaggerated from the beginning. “I had to get COVID myself to prove to everyone it’s overblown!” If a 74-year-old walking advert for hair-implants and chicken-nuggets can survive, then anyone can, ammarite!! The caveat is that they can be flown in a personal helicopter to the military-grade Walter Reed hospital, no relation, and access a billion-dollar medical team on a whim. Wonder if he’d feel the same if he had to access universal healthcare, rinsing his eyeballs with bleach.

​As with the much-revered and respected British Prime Minister, Boris Johnson, a bastion for decency and clear-thinking, no one would wish a leader imminent death. Only a real-bastard would crave such unpleasantness, with Democrats and Liberals the world-over quick to wish the President well. Seemingly, anyway. I mean, we should all stick to this principle, right? I certainly did when Boris was on death-row. Admittedly, I’ve been remarkably less affixed to the stance since. If they can treat others with such callous impunity, should we always adopt the high-ground? Is there an ethical, moralistic and ecclesiastic grey-area? According to Scott Adams’ Win Bigly: Persuasion in a World Where Facts Don't Matter, we’ve already made up our minds, we just need to source ‘facts’ to suit our position.  

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