Feelings

I like my water like I like my emotions: bottled. Inspiration for this blog comes from the 15 Commitments of Conscious Leadership by Jim Demther. The title itself almost put me off: I mean, I’ve seen plenty of unconscious leadership – lifeless, cataleptic, brain-dead leaders? Yeah, ten a penny. ‘Conscious’ in this case means self-aware and the ability to tell themselves the truth. It can be quite confronting. The emphasis in the current chapter focuses on feelings, of all things. Feelings! Like all men, I gave those up years ago.

Or at least that’s the impression of men - abstaining from emotion - crossing our arms and wondering aloud if the ceiling needs a new coat of paint as the credits roll on The Notebook. No, no, just got something in my eye, love! Yes, they’re called tears. And yet the book emphasises something I’ve long thought - feelings are unarguable. You can claim the world is flat or Nazi’s are just misunderstood, but you'd be factually incorrect. You may even get a Twitter warning. However, you can feel many things. There is little point in someone telling you you're wrong, because they’re not you, and don’t feel what you feel...so fuck off, basically. The book doesn’t use those exact words. Maybe it’s in the next chapter, in big bold font. I might laminate it, and carry it around, to pre-empt.

Why is this important? Well, in many relationships we tend to hide feelings instead of voicing them, for fear of embarrassment, of confrontation, of being told we’re wrong, of alienating others. And not only intimate relationships, this could be work, social, almost any relationship. We’re not only lying to ourselves but lying to others too. Some people live their entire lives that way. Take the responsibility, have the tough talks, don’t be too hard on yourself or others. Feelings are unarguable.

What am I reading? Walden by Henry David Thoreau, an oldie but a goodie about life-simplifying
​
What am I listening to? The Experts Guide to Sleeping Well by Chris Idzikowski. Everything you need to know to get a good night’s sleep. Good advice for insomniacs. Makes me tired just thinking of it
​
What did I learn this week? Two things: umbrella comes from the noun umbel, the blooming flower shape in botany; NZ continues to be amazing, as per the national porn adverts to protect children. There must be a way to recycle leaders post their two-terms for other countries? Like exchanging Top-Trump Cards:
"Integrity: 50"
"Damn, you must have Lincoln, good one. Next!"
"Erm . . . shit . . . embodiment of an arse-hat, 55"
"Hang on, isn't it only out of 50?"

Take care of yourselves
Richard xx