I’ve taken to snoozing for this long weekend. It’s been blissful. There’s nothing like taking an afternoon nap, basking in the sunshine, daydreaming, and waking up screaming realising you’re still trapped in 2020. To think it all started so well, celebrating the new year. We celebrated it, the fools! The excellent Graham Green’s Brighton Rock was finished this week and I picked up my Dad’s book he sent over on the Wall of Death, a tome on the rectum clenching dare-devilry involved when hurtling around a circular wall on a gravity-defying motorbike. Part of me wonders whether I’d have the chutzpah to jump on as a passenger, and I think I would, yet this comes from the same man that found the tea-cups at Disneyland pretty racy. Six Thinking Hats, the intended book this week, hat to wait. Arf. With mandatory mask-wearing rife in various countries, it’s fascinating that clothing with no affiliation to politics, sex, religion or gender cause such angst, yet when protestors are arrested in Portland by secret police, barely anything is mentioned. This is the first sign that as a society we’re completely screwed since all those other signs. Meanwhile, in Australia, to illustrate our peoples readiness for discussing complex mental labours on the world’s stage, a woman filming herself blagging through a security checkpoint set up to reduce COVID spread will get a visit from State Police, and the hottest topic of the week is Coon cheese being rebadged. Named after its American creator, patenting a method for fast maturation of cheese called the Cooning method in early nineteen something or other, never let it be said that Australia isn’t ready for a politically mature conversation. With time on my hands (I mean, firkin hell, who doesn’t in Melbourne?!) I’ve looked to improve my Ingrish - it’s with considerable embarrassment it ain’t wot it ssh-ood bee. I remember learning about verbs and conjugation for the first time in French class when I was fourteen, and I certainly wasn’t alone in thinking, what the fu** is this merde? Ohhhh, the foundation of the language we use? Awesome. In fairness, English doesn’t help itself, take awe-some and awe-ful as a prime example of opposites with the same root. So, I’ve spent a few hours this week learning my adjectives, determiners and prepositions. Keen to test yourself out? See how you go here. Don’t even get me started with my uselessness in Latin, feci quod potui, faciant meliora potentes*, ammarite??!!
* I have done what I could; let those who can, do better.
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